I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
