Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
