So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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