Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
