This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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