Buhtt sex?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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