Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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