Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize