Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
