Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
