I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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