True but thats because hes a fetus.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
