don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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