I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
