i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
