He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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