Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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