I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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