So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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