thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
