last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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