I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
