I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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