she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
