Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
