I heard we made out
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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