found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
