Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
