fuck your aforementioned shoe
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
