I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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