I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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