i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
