It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
