Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize