I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
