im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
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