You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
All the doctor said was why
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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