hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Randomize
