I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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