She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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