This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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