Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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