Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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