I wish my penis had an off switch
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
