why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
