is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Ketchup is God's man juice
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
