i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
This is the high leading the old right now
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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