Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
