we're blogging at a bar
I want to stick my p in your. b.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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