this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
