D3 body, D1 cock
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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