this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Randomize