We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
