I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
