Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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