State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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