Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
