end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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